After a little lull I'm back and Im raring to go! You know when life just gets in the way of everything and before you know it you've blinked and it's September already? Well that happened! To update, this year has passed in almost a daze and a blur, I've been flitting from one thing to the other trying to be organised, trying to keep a diary, attend workshops, further my yoga training, read more books, the list goes on, in essence though, I've been trying too hard!!

So instead of worrying about what I'm not doing, or not doing well, I decided to step outside my comfort zone and try something completely new. Forget everything that was dragging me down and throw myself into a new challenge. I started CrossFit!

It's something that's fascinated, actually scared, me for a while. Something I never thought I'd be able to do. my cardiovascular fitness levels aren't the best, I can't Olympic lift, a muscle up sounds like a protein shake to me and the thought on jumping onto and off a box fills me with dread so I've been putting it off for a while. One day something inside me clicked and I booked myself a free taster session at my local box (that's a CrossFit gym in case you don't know!) I kid you not I was petrified the night before! I had no idea what to expect and considered backing out a few times but in the end ego got me there! But from there on out, ego took a back seat, there's no room for it in the box!

Being a beginner and being the underdog isn't something that sits particularly well with me which is another reason I've held off trying something new for a while and at CrossFit I'm definitely both of those things. This challenge for me is both mental and physical. I'm learning every session, whether that's a new skill or whether it's to listen to my body when something doesn't feel right, or even when it's my coach telling me I can do more and willing me to step outside my comfort zone and squeeze out an extra rep, it's all new and it's all helping me to grow. I used to think that I needed to learn to journal or I needed to constantly do more and more training in order to grow as a yoga teacher and as a person but it just wasn't sitting right with me, it wasn't natural, it felt forced and it didn't feel authentic.

CrossFit is helping me to grow in so many ways. I fuel my body well because I know it will function better, I prioritise sleep because I know how sleep deprivation affects my mood and my health. My yoga has become for enjoyment again, not only does it help my mobility, which in turn is paramount for CrossFit but it's also inspiring me again, which i something I've severely lacked this year. My mat has always been my sanctuary, but lately I've also started to resent it somewhat and felt it a chore sometimes, my yoga has been purely asana as opposed to yoga, slowly I'm rediscovering my love for it, in the most authentic way I can.

Letting go of the expectation of others, the pressure to be a certain way because I felt I needed to be and listening to what I needed has and is working wonders for me. I'm happier, my anxiety is gone, I'm not trying to be someone else's definition of perfect anymore. I don't fit into a box, I'm not defined by a title, I've realised if I live my life doing me then I'm happy. My nails might not be perfect, my hair may not be blowdried and my feet may be dirty, my hands covered in blisters and callouses but this is me, and this is me in my most authentic way, growing and developing with a smile and a determination to nail my new sport ! (sorry my ego is still there, just a little quieter ;) )