To you all....
Sometimes things don't go as planned. Life isn't perfect and it isn't all a bed of roses. But that's ok....we live and learn, and we grow.
Since I returned from Bali something hasn't felt right, like something is missing or stuck, and it's taken me a while to put my finger on it. There are so many things I want to achieve and so many dreams I want to fulfil, and I think all of that somehow stopped me moving forward.
I was looking for answers around me. Looking for validation from others, people I looked up to and admired. Then those people let me down. Those people made me doubt myself.
I've been afraid all my life to dream. Always been brought up to live in the real world, to earn good money, to get a solid steady job, to forego happiness for financial security. A couple of years ago I dipped my toe in the water slightly and dared to dream a little. Just a tiny bit.
What if I could do what I want to do. Do something I love doing? Dare I?
So for the past 2 years I've been slowly allowing myself to dream a little more, sowing seeds behind the scenes, making plans and stepping out of my comfort zone to start to live the life I want, instead of the one I feel I should.
Now the time has come to stop being cautious and finally live in the present. There is no need to worry about the future. When you are in the now, it's all that really matters.
Turning inwards to seek the answers has been my saving grace. Taking the time to listen to my gut. I've always known I can make a difference but I've never been sure how and never had the courage to explore the feeling. Going to Bali changed me. Taking a week away from 'real life'. A week to listen to my thoughts instead of dismissing them as soon as they entered my head. The answers were always there. I just didn't believe in myself enough.
Self belief and self determination are all you need to fly. A belief that's so strong and unwavering it propels you forward. I've finally found that belief. I'm strong and I'm confident, with dreams and aspirations and I have a hunger to take it all.
If I told myself 5 years ago that'd I'd be here now I'd have laughed in my face.
So much more has happened over the last few years to bring me to where I am today, but finding my voice and the belief in myself has been the biggest turning point.
I'm lucky that I have the most amazing support network around me. I've never utilised that network until now. I always felt ashamed asking for help. Like it was a sign of weakness. That I couldn't do it alone. It's ok to ask for help. It's ok to need someone. That someone is waiting there for you until you need them. Ask......
More a journal than a blog post, a brain dump, putting my heart on my sleeve and laying myself bare. It's where I am right now on my journey, and it's a turning point. Since admitting this and writing it all down so many things have happened that I never thought could be possible. Watch this space..... Exciting things are coming
I love to hear from you always. Please share your journeys. Have there been any turning points for you? Comment below
Much love to you all